I just don't understand my insecurities.

 

So hi, this is miracle isn't it? I am posting again and surprisingly during midnight. Cool huh, okay this is consider miracle because this post only consist of 5photos which .... I usually don't upload so less photo, right? Haha. True, there's a reason why am I posting so late at night, I was suppose to sleep now because I'm having work later on at takashimaya, spot me there selling swimming costumes bah~ And ofcourse, the reason I'm blogging is not because of work. I'm very stress, and ofcourse I'm not stressed about my work since I had faced it, I'm hearing from friends that the taka supervisor is like hmmm, I don't know how to explain okay lohyehmohyeh . I have 9 days left working and all in taka, so good luck. At least I know one day I will be working with Glena that make me feel a little relieved . Okay that's not the main point anyway, I have two morning shift, which I can shop after 6:30pm, which is... great huh? 

 

What am I doing over here, okay next, this will be the main point . My school sent me an email about starting school on 25 March , and I have to pay fee by 22 Feb, ohgod I'm damn stressed because I'm working almost everyday now, and yes I have off days, but it sounds like I'm going to spend my off days going out to pay school fee, and I'm like rushing also because I need to pay asap. The most stressing moment will be I looked at the timetable, lesson start at 8:30am , still okay I can endure anyway, it's assignment and exams that make me felt so worried and depressed. Normally they will give us about 9~10days because the actual exam but now, they only give me 5days to memorize which make me feel so vexed. I know I can cope, but 5days is not enough for me at all. We are humans anyway, we need to rest as well, you can't make me study for the whole 5days and that include 2days of my weekends. Ohmy, this is hell. Last year whenever it comes to study week , I will give myself a rest when it comes to weekends. And I will feel relax anyway, the first module is a big hell of theory you know , Business Information System . Well I know this module will be super boring lol. Assignment, I'm depressed because I detest assignments a lot, firstly is because my laptop sucks, I need a charger everywhere I go and my laptop don't have microsoft also. Save me now~ And I need to focus on assignment also, so stressful. Although assignment is just 20% but it's hell a lot , it can determine your grades. I thought I'm someone who is optimistic all the time because I always tried to encourage people when they are sad. Although I'm not good in words haha. But at least I will be there anyway. Before knowing about examinations and stuff I was still in a very cheerful mood too. Out of a sudden I  became super pessimistic and don't know what am I doing. I am afraid that I'll embarrassed myself out of everyone. I suddenly thought about people hating on me for no reason , I suddenly don't understand my own insecurity too. I just hope that I can pass this hell. Maybe I'm really not those theory type because I am someone who always love Maths. So I'm more confident when it comes to accounting. But however I already forgotten everything as well, too long, it's been too long. Love everything you hate, this is what am I trying to do, it's horrible. I got to relax, luckily I choosed not to work on March anyway, I really need to rest badly. If not I will go berserk too.

 

War haven't started and here am I worrying so much, what's the point anyway? Okay I need to rest I really need to rest. I hope work goes well . Orchard food are expensive omg. Sad. Sad max. And if I'm not wrong all these picture were taken during 30 Jan before I went out with Yunlin and Sharon haha . Okay goodnight readers, I am sorry because I need to release all my feelings if not I can't feel good. And finally, I'm feeling much better. Sweetdreams! (: